Job description lists farm wives' qualifications...

by Mrs. J. P. (another set of articles from my grandma's things...)

This is a long and daunting list, but I hope to continue to learn new skills and make some farmer a good wife someday--unless God has another kind of feller in mind?

I think my mother qualifies as a good farmer's wife--just in case you were wondering. :)

Now, onto the mock wanted ads.....

"Wanted:
One farm wife to watch gates. It's helpful if she can recognize a steer from a heifer. Also to her credit is a sixth sense that can tell which animal the husband wants in and which one he wants out. This qualification alone should land her a wonderful job as wife!

Wanted:
One farm wife to pull stalled tractors or pickups. She should be able to tell if the husband wants a fast start or slow pull, while she's hoping the chain doesn't break.

Wanted:
One farm wife to be on call 24 hours every day. This allows the husband to come in with that famous line, "Hon, have you got a minute?" and gives the wife a chance to ponder her theories about time as she walks back to the house four or five hours later. If she can do this with a smile and an offer of a hot cup of coffee (or, I'll add, a fresh glass of milk), her popularity rating as a wife increases about 20%.

Wanted:
One farm wife who is willing to bottle-feed baby calves and lambs, and chase a fresh cow through a slow rain while the husband carries the calf to the warm barn. It is of no consequence that the wife may have just washed and set her hair in anticipation of company coming for supper..

Wanted:
One farm wife with above average intelligence-- one who knows a Crescent wrench from a locking pliers or socket set. It's an added plus for the wife if she remembers where the husband left his hammer the last time he used it.

Wanted:
One farm wife who knows exactly which field the husband is working in, especially at lunch time or when a salesman stops in to chat.

Wanted:
One farm wife who will recognize the effect of depressed farm prices, uncooperative weather and seasonal work load pressures on the husband's moods. A wife who is able to make the husband smile and then can tell him she is happy to be sharing his chosen profession, rates high.

Wanted:
One farm wife who is soft enough to cuddle in her farmer's arms, but is strong enough to drive a steel fencepost into the ground. She should be pretty enough to sit across from the husband at the breakfast table for as long as the good Lord lets them be together."


How's that for a list?

Tomorrow evening, I'll post about "The Farmer" and what he all does. :)