Signs on Church Property:

(received from the Good Clean Funnies List)

"No God--No Peace. Know God--Know Peace."

"Free Trip to heaven. Details Inside!"

"Searching for a new look? Have your faith lifted here!"

An ad for St. Joseph's Episcopal Church has a picture of two
hands holding stone tablets on which the Ten Commandments
are inscribed and a headline that reads, "For fast, fast,
fast relief, take two tablets."

When the restaurant next to the Lutheran Church put out a
big sign with red letters that said, "Open Sundays," the
church reciprocated with its own message: "We are open on
Sundays, too."

"Have trouble sleeping? We have sermons--come hear one!"

A singing group called "The Resurrection" was scheduled to
sing at a church. When a big snowstorm postponed the
performance, the pastor fixed the outside sign to read, "The
Resurrection is postponed."

"People are like tea bags--you have to put them in hot water
before you know how strong they are."

"God so loved the world that He did not send a committee."

"Come in and pray today. Beat the Christmas rush!"

"When down in the mouth, remember Jonah. He came out all
right."

"Sign broken. Message inside this Sunday."

"Fight truth decay--study the Bible daily."

"How will you spend eternity--Smoking or Non-smoking?"

"Dusty Bibles lead to Dirty Lives"

"Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are
long, and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are
out of this world."

"It is unlikely there'll be a reduction in the wages of
sin."

"Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church."

"If you're headed in the wrong direction, God allows
U-turns."

"Looking at the way some people live, they ought to obtain
eternal fire insurance soon."

"Forbidden fruit creates many jams."

"In the dark? Follow the Son."